Writing jitters

I am uncomfortable with writing. i feel pressured into coming up with ideas and my mind just blanks, i can’t think of a single one.

They say we need to hone our writing skills, practice makes perfect. It shouldn’t be this hard, i’m a reader for god sakes. A good chunk of my life has been spent with a book in my hands, whether french or english. But for the life of me i can’t sit and write one semi interesting paragraph. I do however jot down notes, ideas i think would make great subjects throughout the day, but by the end of the day i’m beat and can’t find the strength or the mental power to expand on this subject to dig deeper and write about it, i go with my ‘meh’ attitude and just drop it.

Well this is a process. I’ll start with this and hopefully by the end of the month and through writing one post per week i can see my progress.

Although i have to ask, is this pointless? The real honest no bullshit reason i want to start writing is to strengthen my online image. I’m a 20 year old accountant, i have no powerful online presence, no influence on the digital community whatsoever and i’m envious of those who do. The big bloggers and writers, those who can whip up a post in a mere two hours say that they write for themselves, that they are only journaling their lives and if someone happens to get value from it then it’s a bonus. But i’m not successful yet, i’m not influential yet, i’m not in any position of power, i am not giving anybody any added value. I’m not promoting my product, i have no product yet, Out of all my friends i can only count 4 as legitimate contacts that can be helpful to me in my journey to become successful. What they’re saying might be construed as humble brags, but i’m adopting their method anyway: I am writing for my future self, i’m writing for my sanity. I think i just discovered what my writing theme will be: My progress. Many people waste their lives not progressing not moving forward and there’s nothing wrong with that, that’s their prerogative, it’s just not me. I want to learn more, acquire more skills, at least become an expert* at something before i die. So this, this is my learning journey.

*Spare me the “there are no experts” speech, the “10 000 hours” speech and the “practice makes perfect” speech, by expert i mean find my passion, be so good at solving problems and creating solutions in a narrow field that i would feel confident enough to give advice on it, that i would be of use to others in said field.

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